Stranger Things: “Chapter One: The Vanishing of Will Byers” – Overanalysis

Everybody online was obsessed with Netflix’s Stranger Things, so naturally I decided that I would watch it… eventually. I do this thing, see, where I find out about all these great shows, movies and books and decide that I really want to watch them. What usually happens is that I end up watching it months or even years later or don’t end up watching it at all. For example I’ve been “watching” Doctor Who since 2013 and I’ve only watched five seasons. Stranger Things was going to fit into one of those categories: later or never. But then a friend starting bugging me to watch it and so I did. I watched the show only six months after it came out! A new record!

But after watching the first episode (which, by the way, was really good) I had a burning question. There’s a scene where two characters of different genders (Nancy and Steve) kiss in a school bathroom. I texted my friend/peer/person my burning question:

“Okay. So. Burning question. The making out in the bathroom scene. Like was it a unisex bathroom? Because that’s a terrible idea to have a unisex bathroom in a high school. It was very clearly a public restroom so either it was a men’s’ bathroom and she wasn’t allowed to be there or it was a woman’s bathroom and he wasn’t allowed to be there! Also the note just said ‘meet me in THE bathroom.’ How did she know which bathroom? Is there only one bathroom in the whole school? If there is, is it a unisex bathroom? So there’s one bathroom in the school and it’s a unisex bathroom. That’s a bad idea because maybe students will, oh I don’t know, MAKE OUT WITH EACH OTHER!!!! And if there’s multiple bathrooms how did she know which one he was talking about? And there were a lot of kids in the school how did nobody walk in on them? This makes me so mad. This show monsters and telekinesis is so unrealistic!”

He wrote back:

“I assume they’ve kissed in that bathroom before so without that context the note would read ‘meet me in the bathroom that we have previously made out in’. Definitely not a unisex bathroom-it was the 1980’s, they barely had women’s bathrooms.”

This made sense so I responded with “hmmm” and then commented the following sad truism:

“Oh right the women didn’t have equality then either.”

He responded:

“Exactly. Definitely the girls bathroom because there were no urinals.”

This satisfied only part of my original question. I then asked the second part of my problem with the scene:

“Okay but how did nobody walk in on them?”

He responded with:

“It was at the beginning of the school day, people don’t use the bathroom that early.”

This did not satisfy the question so I said:

“They could”

He countered with:

“But they didn’t”

I pressed on:

“Ppl enter bathrooms more than every two minutes”

He challenged this:

“Show me the statistics”

He had made a serious mistake. I fully intended to prove my question was legitimate so I did some internet research and responded a little while later with:

“Okay so the average person goes to the bathroom 6-7 times a day. For the purposes of easy math let’s say it’s 6. Now with 24 hours in the day that’s about one bathroom trip every 4 hours. Now part of those 24 are spent sleeping. The average person gets about 8 hours asleep so we’re working with 16 hours here. That’s 6 bathroom trips in 16 hours. That’s about one trip every 2.667 hours. The average Indiana high school has 848 students. By the lack of urinals we’ve deduced that it’s a women’s’ bathroom. Let’s assume that about half of the school is female. That’s 424 students. A high school requires, for 210 female students, 8 restrooms. Now we’re dealing with 424 students but for the purposes of rounding and stuff let’s just say there are 8 restrooms. 424 women going to 8 bathrooms equals 53 women per bathroom. You mean to tell me that 53 female students going to a bathroom every ~2.667 hours and nobody walked in on them?”

Then I gave him the four sources I used giving me that information.

He was quite impressed.